I am nervous about the next post I will make. This being NYE and all. I am spending it with PB. And I am nervous about how the husband will handle it. I hope he doesn't hurt himself or get too sad or drink too much that will make him feel hopeless.
he says he will always be here for me. I want him to be. I do not want to lose him.
I could stay here tonight. PB would say it did not matter to him. But it would. The man held me all morning cuddling. He falls asleep with me in his arms every night. He puts up with all my moods, hugging me, kissing me and I'm not even pretty but he tells me I am.
I look at him all the time, he is just so beautiful, so manly. I look into those edgy blue eyes, they back at me as if to say, it all ok. I am happy and alive and you make it like that for me and why don't you feel the same?
PB means so much to me. I can only hope I means as much to him.
So tonight i will be there with him, bringing in the New Year. Last NYE I was with someone who did not want me. Not like I wanted him. That guy never treated me the way PB does.
So here I am again, taking a chance. I hope and pray the husband makes it through the next 24 hours ok. I do love him and it would destroy me if something happened to him.
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