Sunday, November 29, 2009

A Weekend of Thanks

It would not be Thanksgiving weekend in the Pony Girl World without some kind of drama. Thanksgiving weekend actually started on Wed for me.
I cooked up a turkey. Each year I get tired of not having a turkey as I am usually at someone else's home for dinner. Plus I wanted to make sure the ex had a turkey dinner. Got to be good ex wife. So I made a 13 lb turkey complete with french meat stuffing (hamburger and sausage with celery, onions, and spices) and bread stuffing. I also made roasted carrots and pearl onions.
Thursday morn I took Jack his dinner, then PB and I went to his dad's for meal #1. It was quite wonderful. Lots of good food and conversation.
After that PB and I went up to the lake to winterize the cabin's plumbing. Plus there were things we needed up there, like my smoker and the ladder. Looking out across the lake it was hard to say goodbye. There will not be any more lake weekend until spring. Sure we can ride up there anytime but I want to get alot of work done this winter. In my little dream world, I want to take off 2 months next summer. So we will be busy ants this winter instead of lazy grasshoppers.
We loaded up the Jeep and headed for PB's mom house for dinner #2. Another nice meal and family time.

Friday and Saturday were sort of work days. We did do alot of motorcycle riding. Then last night we went to see Trans Siberian Orchestra with PB's mom. We met her in the Post Office parking lot where she would leave the car she was driving and ride into the city with us. She was driving her hubby's most prized possession, his very sweet mint condition Corvette and she was nervous as hell about it. (Can you see where this is going?)
We get half way to the concert and she remembers she forgot to lock the Vette. She was that nervous. So I turn around, drive back and
we lock the car. Then drove into the city.
The concert was simply wonderful. Better than last year I think. The music is incredible at a TSO concert but the visuals are absolutely unreal. Its worth going just for that. So we leave the show, its a beautiful night in the city. And drive back to the suburban post office.
The parking lot is empty. No Vette.
PB"s poor mom is almost in tears. Now this is one sweet lady. She is so harmless. It made me feel so bad for her.
We see a sign that says any car left there will be towed. We did not notice this sign when we got there first. I am praying the car got towed. We call the police and sure enough the car was towed. Towed one hour after we left it there. We try and call the tow company, of course there is answer.
So we drive her home. She's a wreck.Sitting there feeling so very bad.
As of now we have not heard anything like if the car is still in mint condition. Actually after reading the News of what is happening over the weekend to other people in the country, having a Corvette towed ain't shit.
Today my tasklist includes riding the sportster to Target in search of holiday lights and paper towels. And spend time in the shop working. Then put up the holiday lights. Then tonight, I must do some actual work related writing.
Hope everyone had a drama free holiday weekend.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

A Gas Can and a Turkey=The Best Thanksgiving Ever

Most people have a memory of Thanksgiving day that stands apart from all the others. There's just
just something about it...some kind of etheral mystic feeling that brands it into your brain.

For me, its memories of waking up to peacefully falling snow, children laughing, a 5 gallon can of gasoline, screaming and crying, and death. As I was putting the turkey in the marinading brine this morning, I could not help but think back to that day.
I was up in Connecticut, a beautiful place to spend the winter holidays. I had brought my best friend's kids up there as their grandfather was dying and their mom wanted them to be there to say goodbye. It was deathwatch at that house. Her dad was dying and all they could do was to try and make him comfortable (impossible) and not drown in their own sorrows during those long hours. The two sisters took turns being with him. My friend had the nightwatch. her children were staying a motel down the road.

I was at my brother's house during the day. I had left there Wed night to go spend the night with the kids at the motel. I had shopped that night for Thanksgiving dinner, buying everything. Not that I could afford it, but I wanted to do it. I was all excited about these new recipes I wanted to make. Including soaking the turkey in a wine brine marinade. After I was done, I happily drove away into the night, to the motel, foolishly believing everything would be ok.

It was a fun night in that motel room. Laughing with the kids, watching their goofy shows on MTV, stuff I don;t normally watch.
We awoke to a snowy world and went outside to play in th eparking lot, throwing snowballs, laughing.
I felt so good, it was like being high, driving along through the pure snowy landscape. A place whre it looked like nothing could go wrong.
I arrived at my bro's house and he was alone with the kids. There had been high drama. Too godawful ong to get into here. But soon she walked through the door. And there was talk of restraining orders, crying, yelling, and a 5 gallon can of gasoline and a match.

It was a wonerful way to start Thankgiving morning.

So i did what most New England women would do, I began cooking. My bro stood over me yelling that 'why was I bothering to cook when the house would soon be burning down?'
But I paid him no mind and kept at it, making the stuffing, stuffing the turkey, putting it all in the oven. Preparing the roasted carrots and onions with fresh thyme. Shutting out the drama unfolding behind me.
I even made homemade gravy and mashed potatoes.
I spent the rest of the day giving my older godson a ride on the atv, climbing the hills in the woods, both of us laughing and screaming. it was a blast.
We finally all sat down to dinner later. A perfectly roasted turkey, fluffy potatoes piled in a bowl, roasted veggies still steaming, bowls full of rich gravy, hot rolls, butter, cranberry sauce, it looked like something out of Martha Stewart.

My bro proclaimed it was the best Thanksgiving ever.

My friend's dad died that night. And we buried him a few days later, on a gray drizzlely day. And then I drove the kids back down south to where we live.

For me, Thanksgiving has always been a bittersweet holiday. The good and bad. Family appiness and drama. I guess I'm just used to it.

My advice for Thanksgiving hellish situations? Just keep on cooking. Just maybe that 5 gallon can of gasoline will not meet up with the match and you'll get to have a wonderful dinner.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

The F Word

Looking out the kitchen window I may have figured out why I feel such a sense of peace here. A forest of tall, beautiful hardwoods stand about 20 feet from the house. To look out this window, is like looking out of the window from my old homes in Connecticut. Places like Marlborough, Glastonbury, Guilford. It brings me that eternal sense of peace, that only a childhood home can bring one.

Right now the leaves are off the trees and you can see endlessly into the gray woods. Bits of fall colors, burnt orange and brown scattered throughout the landscape. My shop set into the fringe of these woods. 15 feet from the back porch steps.

The thing about peace is that it is so fleeting. Some horrific event may happen at any minute and blow you right into the middle of the shitstorm. But for today, Sunday, I sit on the couch. PB and his son on the other couch. A gray ghost sky outside.

I'll most likely get some work done today. Get an early start on the week. Holidays come too soon.
Lately I've been thinking about how much my life has changed in the past year. A year ago, changes coming in my life at a stomach churning pace. Not knowing how I would get through it all. Relentlessly slogging forward, hoping would all work out. Back then, FEAR was the word of the day. I tried not to pay attention to that feeling, but it was always there, creeping in from the edges. A constant reminder of how fragile my existence was at that time.

I've spent so much of my life with that word hanging over me, coloring my world. My life.

Fear of what? Fear that loved ones may get deathly ill. Fear that i would not have money to pay bills. Fear that I would not have a place to live. Fear that I may screw up in my work. Fear of the repercussions of the screwing up. Fear of letting people down.

I think many women are ruled by fear, as in fear we don't look good enough, so we buy tons of shit (makeup, clothes, plastic surgery, ect) that we think makes us look better.
Fear that our spouse doesn't love us. Which was one of my biggest fears this time last year.
But my man does love me and very much. And love goes a long way in keeping all the other fears away. Women carry alot on their shoulders. So you men who are reading this, if you are wondering why your woman (if indeed they are) is bitchy or grumpy or silent or whatever. Make sure she know you love her. Tell her in words and actions. It works real good on me.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The Whole "Happy" thing

I guess I'm just not used to being happy. Always waiting for "the other shoe to drop." Maybe its an indian thing. Its the way I was raised.
But these days I am quite happy. And very slowly, I am getting used to it. I remember the days 20 years ago, driving home on those cold northern winter nights from the HD dealer after finishing a job or working with them on a job. Seeing the warm lights on in the houses in the woods and the Christmas lights. thinking how wonderful it must be to live there. All warm and happy.
Tough times. Cold days. Long nights in the shop. For too many years.
So its hard to trust when things are good. I can be so very thankful for my life these days.

Monday, November 16, 2009

I'm Back

We're back from Vegas and it was a wild, extremely hectic week. Fun? Yeah sort of. But very stressful. Business is business. One of the most vivid memories I brought home with me, was the parting words of the GF of one of the most high profile custom shop in the world. She gave me a hug goodbye and said, "I just pray things get better at our shop. I can only hope it does."
It was very sobering and made me so thankful for all we have.

I got home and we have been working ever since. last week was weird as we got home and only had a half week to work. Plus the strain of going for 8 days with little sleep at full throttle took its toll. We're all rested up and this week will be very full. In fact, I won't be blogging much.

That woman's words will stay with me all winter. Scary days in the custom m/c business.

And if that's not enough, reading Cyril's blog this morning was even more of a wake up call. I am so thankful for my customers and their support.