Saturday, December 24, 2011

Reading my Old Posts From Dec 2008.

Wow. Its pretty amazing. First off I had no idea I had over 100 posts. So much in the future I did expect. Like to still be with PB. I had so many uncertainties in my life at that as so much was changing. The ex was suicidal. My business was in the toilet. PB still had not told me he loved me or given me a key to his house. I had no money. My dog was pregnant and I had no idea if she would be ok and if I'd be able to find homes for all the puppies. Would my brother still be an asshole. But some how I made it through all that. I would just tell myself that somehow it would be OK. And there were some pretty awful times ahead of me Which, had I known about, I would had given up completely.

But I did not give up.

PB did I tell me loved me almost a year later.
He did give me a key to his house, 2 months later with the comment it was not to keep permanently, but it was.
The ex did not kill himself. He is thriving.
My business went downhill for another two years before it improved.
All the puppies found homes.
My brother became a bigger asshole but I still love him.

Somehow I've made it this far. It's wild looking back.

Friday, December 23, 2011

2 am and Life is Flying By

I haven't posted in a while. I have no idea if anyone is still reading this blog, but if you are here's what's been happening. Last winter was hell. 2011 had some good moments and some pretty awful moments, but nothing even half as awful as 2010. God there were some moments, most of which were my own fault. Much of the time, those suicide inducing moments are a result of our own bad decisions. The hell of winter 2009 and 2010, my own fault. Both times, I took in jobs that I should have never even considered doing.

And my gut told me not to do them, but I took in the jobs anyway. I remember many early mornings in Jan 2010, waking up knowing that the work I had done the previous day was all for nothing, and there was no way the job could be done. I had tried to do the impossible. I was getting in deeper and deeper until I was drowning.

And here, almost 2 years later, life feels great because that hell is over.

So what is going on you ask? Here's a list of good and bad.
Good Things About 2011

1) PB and I are still together. We are both fatter but happy. I am on a diet sorta.
2) Business is better than in the last 3 years. Thank God.
3) I may be writing another book if my publisher doesn't lay off everyone in the company before they pay me my advance.
4)Most of my customers are pretty awesome. I need a break from the Satans on earth.
5) My stepsons and i get along better.
6) My grandson called me grandma. I love that cos I never thought it would happen.
7) Bought a kayak.
8) Excellent business trip to Vegas.
9) Life feels good. And I am loving that feeling.

And Now The Bad Things

1) I only rode 3 times this year. Riding into town and back doesn't count.
2) Did not ride the chopper at all this year.
3) Only went to the lake 3 times. But loved every minute of it kinda. See #4 below.
4) Got bit by a brown recluse spider in August when I finally went to the lake. Was sick for over a month.
5) Got poison ivy all over my arms. It last 2 months.
6) Got heat stroke and was sick for 6 weeks.
7) did not lose nearly as weight as I wanted.
8) My friend Martha is worse than ever. Crazy as bat shit and 100 times more mean.
9) The customer from hell did come into my life again. He reported me to the Better Business Bureau. He wrote them. Long letter full of lies. I wrote them back with the truth. The good news they sided with me. The bad news, my spotless record now has an entry where someone was unhappy. I hope nothing good happens to him. The man almost drove me to close my shop.

But right now I feel good, feel positive and hopeful. And that is a good feeling.