Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Feeling better




















I went for a hike down by lake after I made that last post. I talked to my young friend Lyns. I felt better. Strange day today. I wanted to eb in the hsop and work, but it rained and most of the work I needed to do was things that had to be done outside so i am working on a brochure for a trade show in Nov. I did do alot of uncluttering of the house.
As for PB and me, I'm just havng faith things will be ok, but I will be paying attention.
My experiences from my marriage have taught me one thing, appearance counts. Why do women tend to accept their men as is and desire them but men always seem to want the perfect woman, young, erotic, toned, tight perfect.

3 comments:

chessie said...

I must disagree...the comment about men wanting the "perfect" woman. I know the good ones are far and few between...but I've found mine...he and I fit like a latex glove to the hand.

He don't ride, but he understands my need. Encourages me to ride...to write...to continue to pursue my interests. I don't have to be perfect, but I do have to acknowledge his presence and his right to be loved well. Just as he acknowledges mine. It's a lesson he's taught me...and it's amazing...

I've found, being a beautiful woman to the man I love...means being the woman I am...dynamic, static and always admiring him as much as he admires me...I'm not "beautiful or fit"...I'm just me. And I give him my upmost respect...I simply can't think of anything else more important...

Leave your mark on a man...make it something good....

Spooky Lil Girl said...

You're very correct but many men still want the image of perfection. For example. I think my guy is gorgeous, just beautiful inside and out. I felt the same way about my husband.
If a handsome guy walked by, I would not even really look. I mean, I got what I want, not looking. Nope.
Yet, I was reading an article written by a man, stating unknown truths about men, one of which was, even tho they are in love with their spouses, if a pretty girl goes by they still look. My guy tells me that. "I'm still a man." What's up with that?
I know a few older guys that are dating, and if they meet someone, its always "she's so hot and she's only 25 yrs old."
And if they are watching porn, and the majority of men do, they are not watching women over the age of 40.
My best friend's ex is 54 and he regularly dates women in their 20's. My guy even listed on the dating site he was on, the age range he was looking for. And 25 was the young limit. He was 42. His son was 20. What's up with that?
Personally I do not find younger men attractive. Give me a guy over the age of 40 please. A guy with gray in his hair. With hard earned lines on his face. With the charactor a younger man does not possess.
You're lucky to have found a guy who "sees" with his heart and mind. But many men see with their ego.
My guy loves me for who I am, what I am. But I think he's learned some hard lessons.
Also one last thing I was married for 10 years to a man who would not allow me near him. I slept alone for many years. I always found an excuse (medical, ect) for him, but after we separated, after years of a "fake" marriage, he told me, he truly loved the person I was inside but was very unattracted the outside.

chessie said...

Wow, that last sentence...unbelievably self absorbed on his part!

Over the years, I've known men like the ones you describe...been let down by one or two of them...and found myself wedged into some bad spots because of my own beliefs that I HAD to be attractive to someone who wasn't attracted to me on a physical level. What WAS he attracted to then? What a stupid ass...free ass is what...

All the same, each one of these people in my life has given me something I shall never forget...life experience. They weren't right for me, I knew it...deep down...and hoped for the "Best"...disappointed when what I thought was the "best" didn't happen for me...and caused some really bad times in my own life...just cuz I thought I was being rejected cuz of ME!

I'm older now...and I know better...I've sought out the kind of man who satisfies what I need...as he has done the same with me...we all have needs in our lives that differ from the next gal...mine will not come close to your yours with the exception of our expectations to be loved by the men in our lives...

So you must know...I agree, there are some very toxic men out there...may they find their toxic women....