Thursday, December 10, 2009

Toxic Friends

Good news, pretty interesting things are happening with my career.

Bad news - My ex best friend since 1974 sent me a vicious email. over the past few years she has outed me as a friend then tried and get me back, I love ehr so I usually go back. She last outed me in May.
She is one of those people who have no filter in what they say. As family can often do, she knows how to push the right button, in my case the guilt button. She lashes out at those who love her the most as she knows she can hurt the most that way. She has no friends left. Lives in her house with her 2 youngest daughters. Lives on child support from her ex. No job. She has almost no contact with the outside world saying its the only way she can keep from being hurt.
She rants and cries on a daily basis, over things that happened in the past, as if the hurt had happened yesterday and it still fresh.

I write this as my life these days is a balancing act. Trying to keep a business going in a horrible economy, BF and ex husband laid off their jobs, trying to help the x start his own shop anf footing the bill for it, trying to keep all the bills paid, trying to keep the ex husband's head in a good place. He was very dark and suicidal this time last year.
My ex friend is threatening to get him all riled up. The poor man is 63 years old and not in good health.

I am a juggler, desperately trying to keep all the balls in the air going smoothly and have a life. And this sad sick person with nothing better, to do threatens to come and smack them all away.
I tried to break up with PB yesterday, as she threatened to tell him my true age and that my life was a real mess when he met me. So I came completely clean with him. His answer was to tell me he would never let me go. That if he could, he would marry me.

She is threatening to show up and completely fuck up my life in any way she can.

I don't get it.
I don't go round trying to mess with people's lives. if they don't want to be my friend, I let them go. I don't threaten them. Why would a person do this?

1 comment:

Lady Ridesalot said...

PB sounds like a wonderful man with a calm and loving head on his shoulders. It also sounds like your relationship with him has already been secured by his love and committment to you. Protect that for all it's worth!