Ok, here's the story behind the gas pump thing. Except for a very short time, my life has always been a mess. I mean my whole life from birth on. Sure alot of it was my parent's fault, but after age 23 when I finally moved out on my own, it was my own fault. I ended up in situations. Living from crisis to crisis.
Then back in '94, I was in the midst of just such a situation and I was filling up the car. Those messages that run across the LCD screen on the pump? usually they say thanks for filling up with crapo gas? It read, "If you want to escape your problems, then solve them."
I read it several times, and by the time I finished filling, then paid, the message had gone back to the regular message of try our great coffee or some kind of bullshit like that.
Now I know it sounds crazy, me in the middle of a crisis and the pump telling me what i needed to hear. Did it really read like that. Yes, it did. i know what i saw.
Now here, 15 years later, my life has been in crisis for a few years now. I have been following the gas pumps advice for about 8 months now. Solving the problems in my life, instead of simply trying to escape them.